I’ve always felt and have been told to fear comfort because where comfort begins, God’s work ends. That if I am comfortable that means that I am putting God in a box.
The comfort I fear is a comfort that leads to apathy. However, the comfort I feel with the RFKC community is a comfort to be embraced and cherished. It is a freeing comfort, a comfort that allows me to check my worries, doubts, and expectations at the door so that I can love and live in the amazing presence of God. That is what I am looking for in all these other areas of my life.
I think a huge reason why I love working at RFKC, aside from working with awesome kids, is the people. I love the community there. It is simple yet effective. I don’t think that I’ve been in a group like this before. I love the people as individuals but I also think that what makes this group special is that we are all invested in the greater cause. There is a group paradigm of thought that emphasizes the importance of availibility regardless of the costs. They expect God to do great things through this camp but they don’t have to tell themselves that. The fact that God is going to work is just that, fact. It’s a given. They don’t have to do a lot of brainstorming to figure out how to optimize God’s will. They don’t have to do great big elaborate things to make an impact for Christ because He does that on his own and they understand that.
Furthermore, I love the people because they do affirm in me the person I want them to. I love that they affirm the person I want to become not because I think I am a great person but because I think that they are great people; people whom one day I hope to look more like because they live like Christ. Because what they affirm in me through their reactions and actions is a lifestyle that is saturated with love and faith that God will make himself enticing to people even if they don’t have great decorations at camp or a bungee jump instead of the rope slide. Their biggest concern is to love and love without restraint. The planning and programming is secondary to the act of loving. These are the people I want to be like because they exhibit the characteristics of Christ that are lacking in my life.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
RFKC
I’m unable to adequately articulate the emotions that build up in the depths of my heart as a result of God’s deep love for me. He has a way of making me feel like I can never be broken while at the same time persuading me to abandon my shield of strength so I can weep and rest in His presence. And although I can believe so deeply in Him, there is still doubt, the doubt that He is real, and the reality that most of my life has been one attempt after another to prove my worth and hide my iniquities.
I’ve filled my time with people, tasks, ministries, and desires in order to prove my virtuousness and distract myself from my fear. I was afraid of not being known to others and I feared what God would ask me to do if I truly put my trust in him because at the time, I was serving the Lord from the comfort of my perfect “Christian” life but there was something missing and I was hungrier than ever.
I was comfortable and I didn’t expect great things from God. My expectations weren’t ones in which my faith would be greatly affected had God not followed through.
When we take risks in our faith, our universe expands and our faith is forced to play catch-up. The doubt creeps in and unanswered prayers are not as easily explained away.
-----------------------------------------
Royal Family Kids Camp: My first real Risk
God created the universe in seven days; well here, we only get five. Five days to change lives not by performing revolutionary psychological or behavioral techniques but rather through the emulation of selfless love exhibited in Christ with no guarantee that our efforts will bear fruit.
For most, it doesn’t make sense that a child would run from people who are willing and desperately wanting to love them, but cry out for the one’s that don’t know how. How dare they take for granted the time that you have so graciously put aside, only to reject you for those who’ve rejected them. It would be easy to blame it on ungratefulness or a disorder but how often do we run from God?
In order to understand the significance of RFKC, one has to experience it. But maybe, by the grace of God, you can see this reality of heaven on earth.
-----------------------------------------
Why it’s important:
We become acquainted with Christ’s character first through our interactions with those who are followers of Him. This ministry is important because, as H. Richard Niebuhr describes in his triad of faith, there is a correlation between faith in people and faith in God. It is such that when these children finally come to know Christ, “…[they are] not moving from known to unknown…[they are] rather seeking to understand one known by means of another known.” RFKC is an opportunity to restore a child’s faith in adults when all previous interactions have taught them to doubt an adult’s love and question their motives.
“The Christ of faith does not wait for us to discover him….we encounter Him… And He meets us in the people we encounter…For we do not meet him incarnate but as risen. He meets us as the unseen head of a company of believers.” H. Richard Niebuhr.
I believe that what Christ does in the restoration of faith is not only to reconcile us with God but also with each other. RFKC is human work in response to the divine and this, is the church I want to be a part of. A selfless community where love is not reduced to an investment and interactions aren’t limited to a cost/reward paradigm of thought. What do I have to offer these children, what can they give to me? Nothing. All I have is the hope that somehow in my attempts to emulate Christ, his love and truth can be shown and heaven on earth can be realized.
-----------------------------------------
My outlook on life and theology up to this point can be simplified like this: God is going to do what God is going to do regardless of what I do. So, I might as well choose to be a part of his story rather than create my own.
I’ve filled my time with people, tasks, ministries, and desires in order to prove my virtuousness and distract myself from my fear. I was afraid of not being known to others and I feared what God would ask me to do if I truly put my trust in him because at the time, I was serving the Lord from the comfort of my perfect “Christian” life but there was something missing and I was hungrier than ever.
I was comfortable and I didn’t expect great things from God. My expectations weren’t ones in which my faith would be greatly affected had God not followed through.
When we take risks in our faith, our universe expands and our faith is forced to play catch-up. The doubt creeps in and unanswered prayers are not as easily explained away.
-----------------------------------------
Royal Family Kids Camp: My first real Risk
God created the universe in seven days; well here, we only get five. Five days to change lives not by performing revolutionary psychological or behavioral techniques but rather through the emulation of selfless love exhibited in Christ with no guarantee that our efforts will bear fruit.
For most, it doesn’t make sense that a child would run from people who are willing and desperately wanting to love them, but cry out for the one’s that don’t know how. How dare they take for granted the time that you have so graciously put aside, only to reject you for those who’ve rejected them. It would be easy to blame it on ungratefulness or a disorder but how often do we run from God?
In order to understand the significance of RFKC, one has to experience it. But maybe, by the grace of God, you can see this reality of heaven on earth.
-----------------------------------------
Why it’s important:
We become acquainted with Christ’s character first through our interactions with those who are followers of Him. This ministry is important because, as H. Richard Niebuhr describes in his triad of faith, there is a correlation between faith in people and faith in God. It is such that when these children finally come to know Christ, “…[they are] not moving from known to unknown…[they are] rather seeking to understand one known by means of another known.” RFKC is an opportunity to restore a child’s faith in adults when all previous interactions have taught them to doubt an adult’s love and question their motives.
“The Christ of faith does not wait for us to discover him….we encounter Him… And He meets us in the people we encounter…For we do not meet him incarnate but as risen. He meets us as the unseen head of a company of believers.” H. Richard Niebuhr.
I believe that what Christ does in the restoration of faith is not only to reconcile us with God but also with each other. RFKC is human work in response to the divine and this, is the church I want to be a part of. A selfless community where love is not reduced to an investment and interactions aren’t limited to a cost/reward paradigm of thought. What do I have to offer these children, what can they give to me? Nothing. All I have is the hope that somehow in my attempts to emulate Christ, his love and truth can be shown and heaven on earth can be realized.
-----------------------------------------
My outlook on life and theology up to this point can be simplified like this: God is going to do what God is going to do regardless of what I do. So, I might as well choose to be a part of his story rather than create my own.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Blast From the Past
Alrighty, the other night I was rummiging through some old boxes and found some poems and such that I wrote when I was in high school (back then I wanted to be a writer). Anyhow, I decided to post two of them.
“Revelation 3:20”
The constant knocking is driving you insane.
So much is missing and the knocking you blame.
It’s your unstable life He wishes to claim.
The constant knocking you try not to hear.
His presence you ignore although He is near.
What’s waiting behind that door is your biggest fear.
You’re afraid of what He’ll ask you to give up.
But, all He really wants is to fill your cup.
The constant knocking steals your sleep at night.
His pull on your heart you continue to fight.
The lies of this world have hindered your sight.
The constant knocking fills you with tears.
You know the feelings it’s been there for years.
Just listen to the knocking in your ears.
Don’t be afraid, He’s fair and just
All He’s asking for is your love and trust.
“Behold! I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and eat with him,
And he with me.
“The Struggle”
Surrounded by the darkness, you sit in fear,
Searching for a way to make it all disappear.
Meanwhile, He’s drawing you near,
Pathetically trying to make His love clear.
Drowning in the painful events of your life,
His love cuts into your heart like a knife.
You desperately try to run and hide,
Not knowing that He is right by your side.
You put on a show of laughter and cheer,
A pseudo happiness to hide the growing fear.
Your soul pants for Him as water does a deer.
His grace, you’ve waited your whole life to feel.
A sign, you want as proof that He’s real.
The darkness is quickly closing in.
Gasping or air, you try to swim.
You’re emerging now from a long dark night.
Slowly, you begin to enter the light.
Gradually, you regain sight.
That is when the other has lost the fight.
It's funny because originally, both of these poems were inspired by friends of mine in high school that were not Christ-followers. However, as I read over them now I think that I can identify with theses two poems. Crazy how God works sometimes.
I'm going to try to start writing more but we'll see. I'm not making any promises.
Stay classy San Diego
Amy Jay
“Revelation 3:20”
The constant knocking is driving you insane.
So much is missing and the knocking you blame.
It’s your unstable life He wishes to claim.
The constant knocking you try not to hear.
His presence you ignore although He is near.
What’s waiting behind that door is your biggest fear.
You’re afraid of what He’ll ask you to give up.
But, all He really wants is to fill your cup.
The constant knocking steals your sleep at night.
His pull on your heart you continue to fight.
The lies of this world have hindered your sight.
The constant knocking fills you with tears.
You know the feelings it’s been there for years.
Just listen to the knocking in your ears.
Don’t be afraid, He’s fair and just
All He’s asking for is your love and trust.
“Behold! I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and eat with him,
And he with me.
“The Struggle”
Surrounded by the darkness, you sit in fear,
Searching for a way to make it all disappear.
Meanwhile, He’s drawing you near,
Pathetically trying to make His love clear.
Drowning in the painful events of your life,
His love cuts into your heart like a knife.
You desperately try to run and hide,
Not knowing that He is right by your side.
You put on a show of laughter and cheer,
A pseudo happiness to hide the growing fear.
Your soul pants for Him as water does a deer.
His grace, you’ve waited your whole life to feel.
A sign, you want as proof that He’s real.
The darkness is quickly closing in.
Gasping or air, you try to swim.
You’re emerging now from a long dark night.
Slowly, you begin to enter the light.
Gradually, you regain sight.
That is when the other has lost the fight.
It's funny because originally, both of these poems were inspired by friends of mine in high school that were not Christ-followers. However, as I read over them now I think that I can identify with theses two poems. Crazy how God works sometimes.
I'm going to try to start writing more but we'll see. I'm not making any promises.
Stay classy San Diego
Amy Jay
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